To Tell Truth - Please Stand Up

Adventures in Life, Parenting & Real World Navigation Through the Eyes of a Former Foster Kid.

The Many Voices Foster Care, Adoption & Child Advocacy

Crash course in parenting - Life as a foster mom

It all came out OK - Well Mr. Ben did poop the night I wrote my last blog. It was just normal breast fed baby poop, soft and yellowish brownish. He was happy as a clam before, ...
2 hours ago
The Adoption Counselor

Having faith… - My life has been on hold the last few weeks as I watched my mother decline. Last week I spent most of my days and nights at her bedside while she slowly an...
2 hours ago
Cherub Mamma

Sparkle Jewlz - One of the neatest parts of this blogging "thing" has been the community I've found. There isn't much of a foster parent network where I live and I haven'...
3 hours ago
Fosterhood in NYC

I really like Sandy’s attorneys (ACS and Law Guardian) so I’ve asked them to recommend... - I really like Sandy’s attorneys (ACS and Law Guardian) so I’ve asked them to recommend someone to me for Clementine’s adoption. Then, if I should ever ne...
4 hours ago
FosterWee

Anger at ‘the system’ - I am very angry, quite disappointed and frustrated. I so want what is best for Blitzen and her siblings. And if the court decided that it meant going hom...
5 hours ago
Musings of the Lame: Life as a Birthmother

Shameful Sisterhood: Advanced Birthmother Shaming 201 - To each and every one of us who has known the pain of empty arms, I am sorry that you have been hurt in this way by the adoption industry, but let us keep ...
5 hours ago
Last Mom

Summer is....... - Busy! This is our second full week of summer vacation. "Annie" practices were from 5 - 9 all last week, which meant Princess was exhausted all the next d...
7 hours ago
Pound Pup Legacy Feed

Duma bars Russian children from adoption by foreign same sex couples - Published time: June 18, 2013 08:37 http://rt.com/politics/foreign-couples-sex-same-863/ Russia’s Lower House has passed an amendment that bans the ad...
8 hours ago
Transracialeyes

“Birthday” milestones. - Do/have the major “birthday” milestones pose/d any particular issues for you? How did you deal with/resolve/overcome them?
8 hours ago
Lost Daughters

I wish you would share the good things about being adopted - Recently, I got the tired, classic "I wish you would share the good experiences." And I thought to myself, "I wish you didn't feel it necessary to tell me ...
9 hours ago
The adopted ones blog

Links I think you will like… - By TAO I thought I would provide a few links of posts that are worth reading. From “Family Hope Love” Who are the fatherless in the world today? and What t...
22 hours ago
welcome to my brain . net

It's PACE, silly ... not just P - (photo by Katherine Evans; used with permission) My friend, Billy, always tells a story of one of his clients who was having some very big feelings during...
22 hours ago
FAMILY PRESERVATION ADVOCACY

Baby Steps in Adoption Education! - The other day, I fell into a slump...feeling what's the sense of it all? After nearly forty years of working to end the corruption, exploitation, coercion ...
1 day ago
Rage Against the Minivan

My Imaginary Well-Dressed Toddler Daughter - Every once in a while I will stumble onto a Pinterest board that perfectly skewers the insanity of Pinterest. The board My Imaginary Well-Dressed Toddler ...
1 day ago
Foster Parenting Adventures

The speech that reminded me why I do what I do - As many of you know, I work as a consulting psychologist for several alternative schools for teens with severe behavior problems. Often my job comes wi...
1 day ago
Families R Built with Love

Fathers Day - This is always an odd holiday for me. I am not close to my "real" dad. He moved away when I was a very young adult and didn't bother to give me a forwar...
1 day ago
Scooping it Up

Greener Grass - The massive problem created by merely looking at houses for sale online is that you realize you hate your house. I've been cheating on our house for a few ...
1 day ago
Foster 2 Forever - Adopting Children through Foster Care

How Can You Live Up to the Impossible Standard? - Are you on Pinterest? Pinterest can be so much more than recipes, beauty tips, and crafts I will never do! My sister and I have decided that Pinterest gi...
1 day ago
The Declassified Adoptee

Sharing Personal Adoption Details With Others: How Much is Too Much? - I threw my arms around Amy’s* shoulders as she told me her news in excitement. She was pregnant for the first time. She and her husband had waited for the...
1 day ago
I Will Pull This Blog Over!

The Difference Betwee Father's Fay and Mother's Day - One of my children who shall remain unnamed in this post made coupon books at school for Mother's Day and Father's Day (I am actually a little in awe of a ...
1 day ago
I'm A Foster.com. Life before, during, and after foster care.

Animal Assisted Therapy - Last week we were outside doing some yard work and letting my dogs run in the yard. We have a Chihuahua we recently rescued and a Stafford shire terrier n...
1 day ago
Love Is Not a Pie

I Am My Father's Daughter: A Year In Review - *Open Adoption Roundtable #49: The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It’s designed to showcase of th...
2 days ago
Percolated Paradox

Happy F....oh who cares. - I just got home, well to my friends' home, from work. I worked about 60 hours this week. Normally, I am pretty good about "turning it off" at work. I ha...
2 days ago
Whispers of a Former Foster Child

Bad Credit Home Loan - How to Get a Zero Down Mortgage - Getting your first home is a very exciting time for any couple or individual person. It is definitely a path to financial freedom at a later date. A bad ...
2 days ago
Sideshow Barb

Mime - I am my father’s daughter. When I was a kid, my dad was everything to me. Tall & imposing, a police officer in a crime-ridden city, he was the person I equ...
2 days ago
And other ideas and thoughts ....

(Still) The Perfect Dad For Me - Reposting. It's Father's Day tomorrow, and I want to tell you a bit about my good dad. What I say about my dad most likely would differ from what my sist...
3 days ago
Life in the Grateful House

Trauma Doesn't Tell Time - Robyn Gobbel, LCSW, wrote a blog post regarding trauma, implicit and explicit memories. I don't know Robyn but now I'm seriously crushing on her. Here is...
3 days ago
Taste of Kimchi

Birthmothers - What defines a mother let alone a parent ..? Is it the invested time and love or is it DNA and biology? Sometimes I consider myself to have no parents at al...
3 days ago
CHILDMYTHS

Conversion Therapy, Reparative Therapy, SOCE: Proposed New Jersey Legislation Prohibiting Efforts to Change Same-Sex Attraction Experienced by Minors - On June 13, 2013, a New Jersey Assembly committee heard testimony about the bill A3371 (An act concerning the protection of minors from attempts to change ...
4 days ago
SocialWrkr24/7 : Eyes Opened Wider

Foster Fridays - I'm not blogging here today! I am over at * I Must Be Trippin'!** * for her* Foster Fridays* panel. Come check out my contribution as we di...
4 days ago
[Birth Mother,] First Mother Forum

Who gains when first mothers fight over "correct" langauge? - LorraineSo...language continues as a divisive issue among those of us fighting for change in the adoption realm. Yesterday was my birthday and not only was...
4 days ago
Finding Christopher, Finding Myself

What Can A Tiny Baby Know? - A great article from Adoptee Voices Magazine by Karl Stenske: "Adoptee View, What Can A Tiny Baby Know?" I have added this post on my "For Mothers Consid...
4 days ago
Daniel Ibn Zayd

Sleeping Giants in Adoption: Power, Privilege, Politics, and Class - Last year I presented at the Adoption Initiative Conference and I was blown away by the energy and force of those attending and presenting. I’m happy to no...
5 days ago
my fascinating life

Public Service Announcement - Because sometimes I think we all need a bit of this.
5 days ago
One Inch of Grace

When work is more appealing than staying home - I have a confession: I’m nervous about being home with my kids just two days a week this summer. I’ve been working full-time for most of the years the kids...
6 days ago
Land of Gazillion Adoptees

Inaugural Issue of Gazillion Voices Setlist - Here’s a peek. Awesome, right? Issue One Cover Story: Ripping the Tape Off Mary Martin Mason, Joy Lieberthal Rho Cover Image Kim Jackson Columns David Ama...
6 days ago
In Writing Motherhood

- Within this collection of essays and feature articles author Terra Trevor explores themes of motherhood, race, culture, community, transracial adoption, ...
6 days ago
The Luckiest {Unlucky} Girl

Morning Dew - I'm really not much of a "macro" photographer. I prefer faces and interaction with my subjects. But over Memorial Day weekend, I walked out of my back doo...
6 days ago
Writing My Wrongs

Letters as Gifts - Dug this out of The Box this a.m. It seemed appropriate to include in a chapter I am writing in my book. I scanned this blog quickly and see I have never ...
6 days ago
I Was A Foster Kid

Foster Kids Need You …. THIS WEEKEND - ***Please watch the video at the end! It is so powerful!*** . FROSTY’S FOR FOSTER KIDS!! June 15th – June 16th Buy a Frosty at Wendy’s this coming weekend...
1 week ago
Stellar Parenting 101

Monday Moments - I’m alive I’m not sure what to about blogging anymore. It’s a complicated and long story. I am thinking that I might keep on going but not till after I get...
1 week ago
The Anywhere but Here Girl...

Changes - I moved out of my parents house when I was 17. I thought I knew everything and in a somewhat backwards attempt at avoiding becoming the teenage cliche, hat...
1 week ago
The Daily Bastardette

Breaking News: SB623 signed by Kitz. Oregon continues to stand for adoptee rights - Bastard Nation cheering squadOregon continues to lead the way! From Ron Morgan: SB 623 is now Measure 623- it was signed by Governor Kitzhaber on Thursday,...
1 week ago
Exile of Xingnan

Seven Years Ago - It has been seven years since I first sent out that translated letter via Babelfish… Seven years before I really understood what being “in contact” meant. ...
1 week ago
Letting Go of Mie

Foster Parent Friday: Why Does it Take So Long? -
1 week ago
Insert Bad Movie Title Here

Excited for the Weekend - Reunion isn’t a steady plodding thing for me. It never has been. It’s more like a roller coaster. One minute I’m doubting things, and the next I’m so ex...
1 week ago
kimberly gonzalez

Podcasts - I’ve discovered podcasts. I know, I know. About half of you are rolling your eyes and saying, “Welcome to the 21st century. Glad you joined us.” But really...
1 week ago
the5parkers

Are You Running A Day-Care? - I've come to accept and expect comments and questions from random people. Generally, I don't mind. I feel that it's kind of my job (and an opportunity) t...
2 weeks ago
Adopto-Snark

You Will Believe an Adoptee Can Fly - Yes, a zillion blogworthy things have happened in AdoptoLand since I posted last. I’m going to ignore’em all in favor of a snarky, popcult-related post. (S...
3 weeks ago
"Neither Here Nor There..."

Memorial Day ~ Adoptee Style - I've always heard that birthdays can be tough for adoptees, and yes, I c...
3 weeks ago
Fostering Attachment

Trauma Informed Child Welfare Practice - *What does it really mean to have trauma-informed child welfare practice?* The Center for Advanced Studies in Child Welfare has recently published a com...
3 weeks ago
The Mom With Brownies

APRIL 2013 - Quick Family Update - APRIL? May is almost over and I still haven't posted about April events in our family! Ack! Okay, so the kids had "Crazy Hair Day" at school. The boy...
3 weeks ago
Mothering4Money

Public School in the Bible Belt - Last week I met with one of my daughter's former teachers about Melissa (I will tell that story in the next post). When I told her about my divorce & healt...
4 weeks ago
Parenting Your Adopted Child: Tweens, Teens & Beyond

The Importance of Veracity - “Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” ~ Thomas Jefferson One of the questions I’m regularly asked by clients is, “Do I need/have to tell my...
4 weeks ago
Sunshine Girl On A Rainy Day

- [image: Visit Easy Fundraising Ideas] Fundraising Thermometer by: Provided by Easy Fundraising Ideas
5 weeks ago
Adoption Truth

Remembering On Mother's Day - *I*t’s that time again, isn’t it. Time for Mother’s Day and Birth Mother’s Day. If anyone has read my blog long enough they already know my feelings and ...
5 weeks ago
Production, Not Reproduction

Toddlers and Toilets - Baby Trey is now Toddler Trey. Or, alternatively, Barely-One-Year-Old-Bumbling-Around-the-House-on-Adorably-Wobbly-Legs Trey. I admit that, with a four-yea...
5 weeks ago
Mother Issues

on Sand Creek and Storytelling Selves - One thing I’ve wanted to do for a while is write here about books that aren’t about fostering or adoption but I think nonetheless give insights into the fo...
5 weeks ago
The Warrior Princess Diaries

Just Not Ready - Nope, I'm not. Not even one bit.
1 month ago
Home

The 10 Things You should know About the Stranger Sleeping in Your Home (My open letter to foster parents) - May is National Foster Care month. This awareness month is particularly important to me because I have, at different times in my life, been both a foster c...
1 month ago
From the Past into the Future

Leave Me Alone - To the same ex I posted about on April 10th, 2012… It’s sad I need to say this again. LEAVE ME and MY FAMILY Alone. What you are doing, at this point, cons...
1 month ago
Rileys in Uganda

The Child Catchers, Review and Interview with the award winning author, Kathryn Joyce by Mark Riley - The release of Kathryn Joyce’s excellent book couldn’t be better timed. Using James 1:27, “Visit Widows and Orphans”, as a spiritual mandate the US ado...
1 month ago
Out of the Fog

Squat's New With You? - I was looking at my FBook feed last night, feeling full from the sub I’d just inhaled, and came across a challenge. A 30 Day Squat Challenge. I figured...
1 month ago
The Not So Secret Life of an Adoptee...Shhhhh they might hear you.

15 Things I Wish I Could Tell My Adoptive Parents - There are so many emotions built up inside of adoptees about their adoptive parents and what they wish they could say to them. Things they wish they wou...
2 months ago
Ain't That Sherific?

Orlando 2014 . . . - The registration for next year's Orlando Retreat begins May 1st . Yesterday a friend on facebook posted that Orlando was "the best thing I ever did for m...
2 months ago
Fantastic Lies

Lately - Here are some things that have been going on in our little world as of late ... TURNER GRAY MCPETERS IS HERE! My BFFFF gave birth to this beautiful baby ...
2 months ago
John Raible Online

Save ICWA and Native children/families - If you want to weigh in on the Indian Child Welfare Act and the separation of Native American kids from their families, there is a serious campaign going o...
2 months ago
Indigo Child Khara

Australian PM Gillard Apologizes To Victims Of Forced Adoption - This twenty minute video (below) contains the entire speech by Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard on March 21, 2013, where she on behalf of the Austra...
2 months ago
The Chronicles of Munchkin Land

This Is It - I have known, for awhile, this day would eventually arrive. Most journeys don’t last forever. Most journeys have a starting point, some travel time, some p...
2 months ago
Elaine's Blog

Onward & Upward - As contradictory as it sounds, I feel more alive since I've decided that maternal source is dead to me. It sounds quite harsh, doesn't it. But, it's invi...
3 months ago
Foster Mama & the kiddos

Oh My it has been AWHILE! - Well... by the looks of things around the blog I got busy :) I can't believe it has been since August that I last updated on our journey. I don't have time...
3 months ago
Wandering alongside my Little Wolayta Warrior

Some days, I should refrain from reading.... - I sometimes get back 'there'. The "there" of the first year and a half two years of being a mother. The hard "there". I was learning. But it was painful...
3 months ago
iAdoptee

I lost my parents too - So yesterday was my birthday. And it was quite an amazing and wonderful day for a number of reasons. Probably the best birthday I've ever had. But still, k...
4 months ago
Fostering Thrifty Families

Eating from the Trash, Pediatric Nutrition Drinks & More - Q&A w/Dr. Rowell on Adoption/Feeding Issues - Part II - Dr. Katja Rowell, MD Part I of our Q&A with Dr. Katja Rowell, MD, can be found here. If you haven't read it, it's not to be missed! It deals with food hoa...
4 months ago
My Tsehai

Orphans, Orphanage in children's movies and books? - If you are a member of the adoption triad you probably know of Disney's need to kill off a parent in every movie. We avoid any movies that I know have a ne...
5 months ago
FormerFosterTalk

Defining Ourselves for Ourselves - An Alumni Sister asked, “how do we learn to define ourselves for ourselves and learn to not see ourselves as cases but as people?” Learning to define yours...
5 months ago
AdoptionTalk

Culture, Christmas & Adoption - Somehow, in all the years I've watched Miracle on 34th Street, I've managed to miss this scene until this year, where a Dutch girl comes to see Macy's Sa...
5 months ago
It's You and Me Kid!

First holidays together.... - Tigger, S, and I had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We were with my parents and my relatives. S's relatives have all moved out of state and this was his first...
6 months ago
Real Daughter

Protected: - There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
6 months ago
Real Daughter has moved to wordpress

Adoptees and their kids - Earlier tonight, my friend and I were discussing another adoption blog's post about wills and guardianship of children. She asked if it was "normal" for ...
6 months ago
Fostering Awareness

Fall? - Its amazing to me that Halloween is only two weeks away It's hard to believe its fall Most days the kids run around in shorts And the water park is still a f...
8 months ago
Our Little Tongginator

月圓, 人圓 - 月圓, 人圓 Yuè yuán, rén yuán. When the moon is round, families unite. Happy Mid-Autumn Festival, y'all.
8 months ago
Our Foster Family Tree

Musings of the Lame: Life as a Birthmother: What's Wrong With the Adoption Tax Credit? - Please hop on over to Musings of the Lame, where Claudia has made it easy to let your law makers know that we will support a bill that HELPS FOSTER CHILD...
8 months ago
the fiddlehead report...a day in the life of the Rikkers

Back to school= quiet house - Back to school 2012 that's deserving of a blog post! Really, my house is quiet. The tears of sending Jack off to Kindergarten have passed. I have a mome...
9 months ago
noah baby

Helping Foster Kids Even After Adoption - Helping Foster Kids Even After Adoption: “We have to stop thinking about adoption solely as...
9 months ago
And Then There Were Seven

Everything is More Fun When You Do it With Friends (or...how we spent our Saturday) - I think I've mentioned before that a dear friend is adopting this cute little guy: Yes, indeed, Jacob is about as cute as they come. Beneath his photo, yo...
9 months ago
Joy's Division

You Got Nothing To Lose, You Don’t Lose When You Lose Fake Friends - That is pretty much what I have to say about the sign-making party. Thank you Joan Jett. Bitch,you were not a part of the beginning, you were not the...
9 months ago
Adopting Special Needs

Moving - I have moved this blog to http://adoptingspecialneeds.wordpress.com. I hope you all move with me!
10 months ago
A Family of My Own

Life Sucks - I started a masters course in September, and thought everything was finally going to start getting better. But then I failed the first term. I was then put...
10 months ago
The Burden of Thought

See ya. - Well, I’m done. This blog has run its course. It got to be more of a burden (har har) than something I wanted to spend time doing. I had all sorts of thing...
11 months ago
Full Circle

The New Journey Begins! - Check out our new home.. go on now.. SHOOO! Road Less Wandered...
11 months ago
I'm Still a Good Mother; A Birth Mother's Journey Through Open Adoption

Absence Makes The Heart Grow........ - "Absence makes the heart grow founder". Does it really? Or does absence make the heart grow curious, empty, confused, or just plain hard? I never truly und...
11 months ago
Fleas Biting

Journal of Christian Legal Thought Issue on Adoption: Hopes for a Mature Dialogue - The Journal of Christian Legal Thought, a publication of the national Christian Legal Society and Regent University School of Law, allowed me to help put ...
1 year ago
Just What The Hell Am I Supposed To Call This?

This Blog Is Moving - This blog is moving... slowly but surely. I'm leaving this blog up just until WordPress gets my import issues figured out but there's no telling how long t...
1 year ago
Always in My Heart: An Adoption Journey

Finding Myself - Have any of you seen the movie, "Runaway Bride"? Well, there's a girl who has been engaged multiple times and ends up running off during the actual wedding...
1 year ago
From Foster Kid to Foster Parent

Labels Change. “Foster Kid” to “Foster Parent” - Fifteen years ago, if you would have told me that I would one day be a foster parent, I would have laughed in your face. I wanted to be so far away from th...
1 year ago
Insert Bad Movie Title Here

Reminder - I moved to: http://insertbadmovietitlehere.wordpress.com Thanks for following!
1 year ago
Gold to Refine

It's a BEAUTIFUL day in the neighborhood... - Oh, YES it is!! Photo I went from being all sad and grumpy because all my friends are in Orlando and I am stuck here all alone in the snow and cold to so gi...
1 year ago
Once Was Von

Most 'orphans' have a living parent, says charity | Pound Pup Legacy - Most 'orphans' have a living parent, says charity Pound Pup Legacy: In a report, Save the Children says some institutions coerce or trick poor parents to g...
1 year ago
Words of weary memories that I can always see

Recognition. - My biosister, Nicole, is a teenager and is 5 months pregnant. Obviously, when most people find this out, they are curious to know if she will place her ...
1 year ago
workshop for beginners

Moved - I've got myself some new digs. If you want to follow, email me at: dandiesinthesunshine@hotmail.com
1 year ago
La Bicicleta

Saying Good Bye. - It's time you guys. http://casabicicletachinese.blogspot.com/ It's time.
1 year ago
Relearning to Fly

2011 The Final Frontier - I haven't been actively blogging for awhile. I have found that even in the posts I have written and not posted I am starting to repeat myself and while it ...
1 year ago
Tubaville

Merry Christmas -
1 year ago
Caring for Other People's Children

not my favourite time of year - i hate xmas time. my father died on xmas day. xmas is about family, and my family is quite fucked. a very flat time of year for me. fb tries her hardest to ...
1 year ago
Angry Adoptive Mom

Help the Korean Unwed Mothers Families’ Association Raise $7,000 - Important PSA: the *Korean Unwed Mothers and Families Association (KUMFA)*, which you may also know by its online forum name *Miss Mamma Mia*, supports mot...
1 year ago
Rita's Rituals

Saying Goodbye To A Pet Is Never Easy - I lost my first baby, bandana boy, sooo sad. The decision was hard. And even though it may have been obvious, the loss of a pet is never easy. I still r...
1 year ago
Seventeen Pillows

Dealing with death and dysfunction - My maternal grandmother passed away last week. No condolences are necessary as I didn't know her. I wanted to know her. I tried to know her, but she was...
1 year ago
Adoptive Parents Speak

Just Sayin - In regard to some of the comments I am not and will not post Defensive behaviors can be the result of a: * Challenge to private or public perceptions of ou...
1 year ago
Home

Moving Day - Tomorrow is August 29th, which is the deadline I set for myself to launch the newly designed site for Home (if I hadn't set the deadline I may have procra...
1 year ago
Yoon's Blur

Farewell to Yoon's Blur - So, I know I just said I was going to take a break. But I have decided that, yes, it is time to go. No more "breaks." This is it. In light of all the "bre...
1 year ago
May I Have a Word?

Musician Suzanne Vega Finds Her Birth Father--Her Blood Sings - Suzanne Vega's adopted. Sort of. At age 9 she found out her daddy wasn't her real daddy. She was also shocked because that meant she was White. (Adoptive d...
2 years ago
Jacquinn Speaks

My 30 Day Dating Diet - ----My 30 Day Dating Diet Journal---- "Embrace and appreciate your woman's mind." Tony Gaskins said. The immediate thought that rushed to my mind upon hea...
2 years ago
Screwed Up: My Story

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3 years ago
Life After Foster Care

Create your "Constructive Action Plan" for Success - Free your mind of anything negative that would otherwise hinder your growth. Our actions follow our thoughts, so what you believe will determine what you ...
3 years ago